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Government shutdown? Nothing compares to choir politics

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Choir music. David Beale/Unsplash

The government shutdown is reaching into so many pockets of society. The most recent example is the choral world, where we've learned of one devastating instance of Soprano Shutdown — thanks to the just-for-fun website The Holy Herald.

The site's "sanctified Lutheran satire" includes the article "Choir Shutdown Continues: No End in Sight." It details the shutdown of the choir at the fictional St. Mark's Lutheran Church in Danville, Ill., after "unrealistic demands from the sopranos":

"They wanted separate dressing rooms, imported silk choir robes, and a manicure allowance," said disgusted alto Joanne Peterson. "I don't even wear makeup to church, and they're expecting us to use the choir budget to pay for their nails? Forget it. Who needs sopranos, anyway?"

Our fingers are crossed for a quick and amicable end to the madness. If not, Tenor Tariffs or Bass (Fili)buster might not be far behind!

For a fun riff on the personalities in a choir, take our quiz "Which Member of the Choir Are You?"